through it guide

TRAVELING THE WORLD, FEELING THE FEELINGS, & FOLLOWING MY GUT

May 14, 2019

While running from meeting to meeting during my old corporate days, I would often fantasize about stress magically disappearing from my life.  It was easy to blame the hustle & bustle of New York City and the competitive fashion retail environment. But four years later, I must admit that even after moving to a small, rural town and shifting careers from retail to wellness, I still encounter plenty of stressful situations in my work and personal life. And I have come to realize that the goal isn’t to eradicate stress completely but to change our response to it when it arises.

Our bodies & minds respond to stress in a myriad of ways. When we feel a threat coming on, whether it be emotional or physical, our sympathetic nervous system kicks in, commonly known as "fight or flight" mode.  During that time, our bodies release hormones like cortisol and adrenaline to help us respond to the threat at hand. Our blood sugar levels rise and our breathing speeds up to provide our muscles the ox...

September 13, 2018

I just got back from a whirlwind week in New York and am currently sitting at my kitchen table with a clay mask on, slippers adorned, and coconut oil all over my body.  I spent the last week buzzing around the city, co-hosting an Ayurveda pop-up dinner, visiting friends & old stomping grounds, and conjuring up future collaborations so I can get to NYC more often. I realized on this trip how much my purpose is to be a wellness translator, especially for urban dweller corporate worker bees looking for a little more balance and a little less burn out. Because only a few years back, I was there - I spent almost ten years in corporate America and got severely burnt out, which led me to travel for a year around the world, uncovering new ways to truly care for myself that I never knew existed. It was an almost unlearning and relearning process - unlearning the tendency to just follow what ‘they’ say is successful & fulfilling & healthy and uncover what really made me feel truly nourished. It’...

August 23, 2018

I just wrapped up a 2-day catering gig for a wonderful group of teachers from San Francisco.  Every year, these teachers come up for a mini retreat on the farm to connect as a group and set intentions before the new school year begins.  I was appointed the job of head nourisher, and as much as I am proud of the food I put out for these amazing humans to feast on, I am currently feeling totally wiped.  Don’t get me wrong - some of it is good exhaustion from a job well done and a lot of effort put forth, but there’s something else in that equation that isn’t sitting well with me.  It got me thinking about my values, and about how if we go too far out of the way to honor them, they either end up turning into our saboteurs (our negative self talk voices in our head) or stepping on other values just as important to us, throwing us off our balance equation, and leading to the infamous 'burn out' feeling.

Let me explain. 

So because I have a value for authenticity and true f...

February 20, 2017

In July of 2015, I left my ten year retail career, moved out of my Brooklyn apartment, and booked a one-way ticket to Copenhagen. Ten countries, ten months, and hundreds of journal entries & recipes later, I am so excited (and scared sh%tless) to now share the full story with you.  My journey was a call to the world in search of true food & authentic connection, and a call from within to let go, live unapologetically, and follow my gut no matter where it needed to go. 

I must admit - as liberating and fulfilling as the journey was, it definitely wasn't all cupcakes and roses. Traveling alone for ten months without a plan was at times extremely frustrating, lonely, and tough.  You start with all these assumptions and expectations on what quitting your job & traveling the world should feel like, and you realize all too quickly that it's nothing like you thought it would be.  One of the most difficult lessons I learned was in giving myself permission to sit wi...

June 22, 2015

I have a lot of nervous energy right now and need a release. Some of it is pent up energy from spending the last two days in a car with my mom and sister driving up the coast to drop me off here at Esalen.  And now being here, I feel pretty out of place and find myself trying to pinpoint what it is that makes me feel slightly uncomfortable. I fear that this week is going to go by so fast and I haven’t really identified what my intention is on being here.  Everyone seems to radiate their intention set for their time at Esalen.  The girl last night at the baths who was blowing a kiss to the moonlight certainly seems to have an intention. The guy playing the guitar on the lawn overlooking the ocean seems to have an intention.  The girl wearing a cat mask & crawling around the lawn definitely seems to have an intention. So why is it so hard for me to figure out my own?!

I feel overwhelmingly unprepared to be here, both emotionally...

June 18, 2015

When I’m about to write that life started to unravel after Mike died, I’m sure most people would assume that life unravelling = kim spiraling out of control, losing her shit, and going crazy. But what I really feel is that I’m uncovering a whole world that has never been taught to me before, a world that seemed right under my nose this whole time. It’s a world of awareness and intuition, where actions are taken based on what you feel in your gut & your heart rather than your brain.  If the heart is the true source that supplies blood flow to our brain, why then do we always believe that leading with our heads is 'better than’ leading with our hearts?  

I have a mantra that helps me to stay strong and continue along this path: THE FEAR OF NOTHING CHANGING SCARES ME MORE THAN THE FEAR OF EVERYTHING CHANGING. I repeat that to myself. I write it down. I tell my friends. I even tell strangers to hold myself accountable, and to continue along this path. When you don’t...

May 31, 2015

Note to self - Buy "Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change" by Pema Chodron

"I'm neither doomed nor completely free, but I'm creating my future with every word, every action, every thought. I find myself in a very dynamic situation with unimaginable potential. I have all the support I need to simply relax and be with the transitional, in-process quality of my life. I have all I need to engage in the process of awakening."

May 30, 2015

Nothing is going to be the same after this trip.  Too much has happened.  I'm supposed to head back to New York tonight, but I can't leave.  For some reason, I don't feel like my time in Tulum is done yet, even if it just means staying another few days.

I got this Mayan massage from Elvira in the yoga studio today, and I am only beginning to process what happened. It was the first time I had a massage where the movements followed the pattern of my breathing.  It was intense.  She moved along the chakra system from the root up, and when she reached my belly and started to rub it in a circular motion, I began to cry.  Apparently in Mayan culture, the belly is said to house all our emotions. I didn't know what the heck was happening.

Even though I met Elvira last night in the happiest of states during our salsa dancing class, she could see right through it - I was so sad underneath all the smiles and twirls.  When I started to cry,...

May 26, 2015

I couldn't sleep because I was so eager to come out and watch the sunrise.  My little room at Casa Utopia (pronounced "oo-toe-pee-uh") here in Tulum has windows all around covered by small pieces of burlap fabric that allow for little shelter and privacy.  But it seems like that's all you need here. The electricity only runs from 5:30pm until 11:30pm, so everyone flocks in around the start time to charge their phones up and reconnect with the outside world.  

The sea crabs are just as much inhabitants of Utopia as we are - they crawl underneath the wooden deck in the evenings and roll all the coconuts around that the staff had strategically placed on the sand earlier that day.  Our night watcher Hans grins as he tells me how he thinks the crabs are intentionally trying to mess with him.

There are very few people out on the beach right now, but we are the select few who chose to let the breeze carry us to the beach to watch the sunrise.  This is my first solo vacation I've ever taken...

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